And It’s Not Laziness
We blame ourselves when we can’t concentrate.
Maybe I’m just not disciplined enough.
Maybe I need to push harder.
Maybe something’s wrong with me.
But what if the problem isn’t you?
What if the problem is what we’ve been taught to believe about focus?
You’re not broken. The model is.
Most of us grew up thinking focus is a skill we need to master through effort.
Sit still. Tune out distractions. Try harder.
And when we can’t, we assume it’s a personal failing.
We shame ourselves into pushing more.
But here’s the thing: your brain isn’t built to obey.
It’s built to respond—to emotion, to meaning, to safety.
In neuroscience terms, attention is not something you “force.”
It’s something you offer—to what your brain finds valuable in that moment.
That might be the task in front of you.
Or it might be your buzzing thoughts, your phone, your anxiety, your memories.
your brain follows what feels alive
We don’t struggle to focus because we’re lazy.
We struggle because we’re overstimulated and under-inspired.
Because we’re pouring energy into tasks that feel disconnected from purpose.
Because we’re running on fumes with no time for stillness.
Because we’re treating our attention like a muscle—when it’s really a compass.
what if we’ve been asking the wrong question?
Instead of:
“How can I stay focused?”
Try:
“What am I being pulled toward—and why?”
Because sometimes your distraction is pointing to a deeper need.
Rest. Clarity. Reconnection. Meaning.
We don’t need more hacks to force ourselves to concentrate.
We need gentler ways to listen.
a pause for you
Take a breath right now.
Ask yourself:
What kind of focus am I trying to create?
One built on guilt… or one built on alignment?
Watch: Busting the Myth of Focus
If this idea resonates, I made a short video unpacking this myth of focus—
why we find it so hard, and how to work with your mind instead of against it.
It’s less about hacks, more about understanding.
Less about shame, more about self-awareness.
Until next time…
…notice what your mind is drawn to
when you stop trying so hard to control it.
That’s where the real wisdom lives.
